Green Flags in Relationships: Signs of a Healthy and Supportive Partnership
By Oluwatosin Akintan, M.Ed., LPC
We hear a lot about red flags in relationships—things to avoid, warning signs that someone might not be the best fit for us. While knowing what to steer clear of is important, it’s just as crucial to recognize the qualities that make a relationship worth investing in.
Red flags tell us when to walk away, but without green flags, there’s no reason to stay. A thriving relationship isn’t just the absence of toxicity—it’s the presence of mutual support, respect, and growth. So, what are some green flags to look for? Here are a few signs that a relationship is built on a strong foundation:
1. They Have a Proven Ability to Change
Potential is everywhere, but action speaks louder. A partner who has demonstrated real growth—whether through self-improvement, changed behaviors, or learning from past mistakes—shows that they’re willing to put in the work. Look for someone who doesn’t just talk about change but has shown they can adapt and improve.
2. They Truly Listen
Listening is more than just hearing words—it’s about understanding and making space for your emotions. A great partner asks questions, remembers details, and validates your feelings rather than dismissing them. If you consistently feel heard and understood, that’s a sign of a solid emotional connection.
3. They Stay Present in Difficult Moments
Disagreements and tough conversations happen in every relationship. What matters is how a person responds. Someone who shuts down, avoids confrontation, or disappears when things get hard isn’t ready for true intimacy. A partner who stays present—emotionally and physically—even in discomfort is one worth keeping.
4. They Apologize and Make Amends
A real apology isn’t just words—it’s followed by actions. A healthy partner acknowledges when they’ve hurt you, takes responsibility, and actively works to avoid repeating the behavior. If you have to beg for an apology, that’s a red flag. Choose someone who values your feelings over their pride.
5. They Are Open-Minded
Differences in perspective are inevitable, but a good partner is willing to listen and consider your point of view, even if they don’t fully agree. Open-mindedness allows for growth, compromise, and mutual respect—essential ingredients for a long-term relationship.
6. They Balance Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Relationships thrive when both partners bring something unique to the table. It’s great to have shared interests, but differences create opportunities for growth. A partner whose strengths complement your weaknesses can help you learn, evolve, and become a better version of yourself.
7. They Reflect on Past Relationships Objectively
Someone who always paints themselves as the victim in past relationships may struggle with accountability. Look for a partner who can acknowledge their own mistakes, explain what they learned, and show emotional growth. This indicates they’re ready for a healthier, more intentional relationship.
8. They Give as Much as They Take
Relationships should be reciprocal. If one person is constantly giving while the other only takes, resentment builds over time. A green flag is a partner who makes an effort to contribute emotionally, physically, and mentally—someone who prioritizes balance in the relationship.
9. They Are Self-Aware and Committed to Growth
Self-awareness is a key ingredient in any healthy relationship. A person who understands their triggers, emotions, and past experiences will be better equipped to handle challenges. A self-aware partner seeks feedback, processes their past trauma, and actively works on personal growth.
10. They Are Honest, Even When It’s Hard
Honesty goes beyond just avoiding lies—it’s about integrity. A trustworthy partner is transparent about their thoughts, feelings, and intentions. They won’t sugarcoat the truth, but they will communicate in a way that builds trust and security.
While no one is perfect, the presence of these green flags can indicate a relationship that fosters emotional safety, respect, and long-term potential. The key isn’t finding someone flawless, but someone who is willing to grow, communicate, and show up for you consistently.
What are some green flags you’ve noticed in your own relationships? Drop them in the comments!